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Meet Anne Marie Turner The first thing Anne Marie will tell you is that there’s
no such thing as balance. Balance is a myth, and reality is a series of
constantly negotiated compromises. Life as a single mother sometimes
means, look girls, deadline equals sandwiches. It also means taking
it moment to moment, and seizing opportunities for connections where you
can find them. Talk to her about her work, and it’s clear she has an
enormous sense of empathy for her clients. It’s important to her to get
to the heart of what’s holding them back, discerning whether they’re
ready to make changes, and if so, how big or small. After all, this is
sensitive stuff: people are tied to their things. Being a professional
organizer is part ship-shaper, part therapist. The most satisfying part of her work? Seeing clients or
students make real personal progress, with both mental and physical
clutter. Relationships recover, forgotten vocations are unearthed,
vacations are taken with money from garage sales! She’s seen the happy
snowball effect of people in the throes of confronting big issues, and the
positive energy that in turn spreads to the rest of her class. And she
wants people to have the tools and the knowledge to do it again, later on,
when they need a tune-up. Anne Marie works closely with several other organizers
who pair up as needed. Recently, they helped organize a section of Habitat
for Humanity’s massive warehouse. One begins to see this as an integral
theme that runs through her life: support, partnership. She mentions the
neighbors she couldn’t live without and the sense of community and
loyalty and care she draws from them. She relied on this network of
support, and on others, when her parents died six months apart in 2000,
both after lengthy illnesses. She hopes to eventually exhibit some of the
150 paintings her father, an artist, left behind -- legacies of his love
for abstract art. Underlying it all is Anne Marie's love of words. A
pivotal moment came three years ago in a class she took -- a public
reading of her work led to a stunned silence from her classmates. She
realized how much she needed to return to her first love: writing.
Leftover thoughts from her Michigan upbringing assured her that writing
was a sure road to poverty, but now, notes are being taken, files are
being collected, and a hybrid seed is in the works for a combination of
musings on organizing and creative nonfiction. We talked to Anne Marie recently. Here’s what she had
to say about life and mothering: Who inspired you when you were
growing up and why? You are face to face
with your ten-year-old self. You have one thing to say to her about her
future, what do you say?
First, learn to relax. Focus
on what you love and do that. Do the thing you
All of my elementary school teachers - especially Diane Fenstemacher in
second
grade because she introduced me to journalism. On a broader level, Mary
Queen of Scots -- she was a firebrand who ascended to the Scottish throne
so young, went through a very dramatic and challenging life, and in the
end was removed from power. And American writer Mercy Otis Warren -- she
was another feisty woman who had the good luck to be born into a family
who could afford -- financially and socially -- to support her education.
She had the further fortune to marry a man (James Warren) who encouraged
her writing; and she became one of revolutionary America's finest
satirists.
love and do it well no matter the obstacles that are placed in your path.
(continued at top right)
The Countess Galleria / Sarah
Higdon
What two notable people
would you like to see handcuffed together for a
day?
So many delightful, devilish combinations... where to start?
Martha Stewart and Cher; The Honorable Katherine Harris (Florida Secretary
of State) and nearly anyone; actress Julia Roberts and former Red Cross Executive Director Elizabeth
Dole (I'd like to see whose smile wears off first); Former Texas Governor
Ann Richards and activist/actress Susan Sarandon (I'd like to be invited
to that party!); Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura and White House Counsel
Karen Hughes (I want to hear when the verbal velvet gloves come off! Can
we say that?).
But the one I would really like to see and hear would be U.S. Congressman
from Chicago, Jesse Jackson Jr., and U.S. Senator from Texas, Kay Bailey
Hutchison. What a study in contrasts, and yet are both highly skilled
negotiators and consummate politicians in the best sense of what each
represents. I imagine they would talk about everything from personal
politics to highly charged national issues to best barbecue.
What is the biggest
contradiction you see mothers being faced with today?
You really cannot do all that you would like to do. You have to make
choices to include and choices to let go.
What do you see as your biggest challenge in being the kind of
mother you want to be?
To actually walk the walk
after talking the talk -- modeling love and respect.
I hate it when I break down and yell.
What makes you most happy about the way you parent?
In the same way that I have a short fuse, I get over things very quickly.
I can forgive and I can say that I am sorry.
What do you wish you could automatically grant, like a fairy
godmother, to all new mothers? To mothers during trying times?
Let me pull out my list.
As a single parent, there are certainly times when "a partner who
will stand by you no matter what" comes to mind. But, I've learned
that while this is a true blessing for those that have a partner, it is no
cure-all.
Sleep. Numbers 1, 2, and 3 on my list. Sleep.
A support network of family, friends, and cooperative employers.
A list of good service providers -- doctors, dentists, plumbers, etc.
An extra set of keys.
A small, emergency stash of chocolate.
Patience and faith to know it will get better. What was it that poet
Robert Frost said? "The best way out is always through."
Thanks, Anne Marie!
Post a note to this
week's Mama on the Mamas We Like message board
more info:
BREATHING SPACE
Professional Organizing Services
Austin, Texas
V: 512-258-8468
FX: 512-258-3052
www.orgpros.com
Sign up for Anne Marie Turner's FREE organizing class. Based on Julie
Morgenstern's best selling book, Organizing From the Inside Out
at www.barnesandnobleuniversity.com
